positive...

Soooo I am 5 weeks pregnant.  I am afraid to even say it out loud.  I really want a baby.  This baby.

Having a miscarriage is a hard thing.  To me I really felt like it was a consequence of the Fall.  I am a human being and this experience and the heart ache it has brought me really connects me to this Telestial Earth.  The grief I have experienced is so much different that the grief my husband's actions brought. 

I know that although the pain is different the solution is the same.  The Atonement of Jesus Christ can fill both holes in my heart. 

I can't decide if I am jaded or just lack faith.  I tend to be a pessimist.  It drives my husband crazy.  I am having a hard time getting too excited for this baby.  I guess it is to be expected.  My doctor promised as much.  I know that it is in the Lord's hands.  All I can do is all I can do. 

Here's to hoping for a happy ending this time around...

M